12:12

It’s a little bit awe-inspiring how for a time you try to be okay, and pretend to be okay, and then eventually you just feel that you’re not pretending anymore. That you are actually okay. That you’ve accepted that things aren’t going to be the same anymore. You may not have totally moved on, but you’re getting there. That smiling doesn’t feel like it’s being forced, that you are actually smiling for real. You realize that what you’ve been grieving over doesn’t hurt that much anymore. That seeing that person you’ve been trying to avoid doesn’t hurt as much as it used to anymore. That whatever he does doesn’t affect you that much anymore. There are days that you feel like you’re closer to that sense of peace, and there are days that even him appearing on your social media feed tears you a little bit inside. Healing is a bit of a struggle. That, I can totally attest to. But it’s gon be so worth it. I want to include a metaphor about diamonds and how they are made out of extreme pressure right about here, but I can’t come up with a more catchy phrasing to it, so I’ll just leave it as an effort like this. I’m waiting to get to my emotional Nirvana of some sort, where I’ll be at peace, where seeing you and talking to you and being with you won’t hurt or won’t trigger any more feelings of attachment. What we shared was good, and I want to keep them in my mind like that. I don’t want them soured, so I’m trying my best to be okay. Thnks fr th mmrs. 

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